Ever catch your kitchen on fire?

Yesterday I came close. 

I had a fire in a pan on the stove catch fire and it melted the bottom of the pan.  The bottom of that pan literally disappeared, liquefied and melted onto the burner.  I was cooking water and sugar for hummingbird food and forgot to set the timer.  Which means I forgot about the boiling pan of water on the stove.  And here’s how far my stupidity goes.  We had taken down the smoke detector because it was installed above the sink and every time I drained out boiling water from cooking pasta or something similar the steam would set off the smoke detector.  My stupid ass never thought to just MOVE the smoke detector.  So we took it down.  And yesterday when there was a freaking fire on my stove top I had no smoke detector to tell me about it. 

And here’s more stupidity for you.  I smelled something funny earlier before I discovered the fire and ignored it.  Figured my hubby was doing something in the basement and it was drifting upstairs.  Even smelling the funny smell didn’t remind my brain that I had a pan cooking on the stove.  DUH.  And I know that it could have been much worse.  People have actual ROOMS catch on fire, etc.  But it was scary.  I suddenly realized my living room was full of smoke and even in the daytime all I could see was white smoke everywhere.  It was crazy.  (I can see how fires at night cause people to get disoriented and be killed because they can’t find their way out.  SCARY)  I ran into the kitchen and for a minute couldn’t figure out what to do.  I couldn’t reach past the pot and turn off the burner because flames were shooting out of the pot and I didn’t want to get my arm burned.  I finally thought to get a hot pad and grab the handle of it and take the pan to the sink and put it in there, figuring the fire would go out itself then. 

But the worst part?  The smell.  My house smells SO BAD right now.  After we got all the smoke cleared out of our house I left for a few hours, but when I came back it still smelled terrible.  Anybody know how to remove a smoke smell from your house?  Well, how to remove a half smoke/half burnt Teflon smell?  YUCK.  Seriously, I’m just glad I still HAVE a house, even if it does stink to high heaven!