The day my life changed forever.

Today is my daughter’s birthday.  She is 9 years old.  It’s funny….. lots of people told me when I was pregnant that the years would fly by and before I knew it she’d be driving and graduating from high school, etc., etc.  And I didn’t believe them.  I thought they were exagerrating.  But they weren’t.  It’s true.  It seems like she was just born.  I can still remember every detail of every moment of that day, and it seems like we just brought her home from the hospital and laid her down in her crib and I turned my back for just a second, and now I’ve turned around and 9 years has gone by.  NINE YEARS.  That may not sound like a lot to some people.  There might be young mothers who are currently experiencing the “terrible twos” who think they can’t wait unil their kid is 9.  But I know there are mothers who don’t get this much time with their children. 

I keep tearing up as I write this, because I am so overwhelmed with love for this child.  I am so overwhelmed with gratitude down to the deepest part of my heart that I have been blessed with having this beautiful creature in my life, that I have been given the gift that is she, and I have been allowed to borrow her for as long as I am allowed, and God help me I hope it’s until the end of my life. 

She’s just ending her third grade year in school and struggling with book reports and recently she challenged me to write a 500-word essay about how much I love being her mother.  I’m not one to ignore a challenge, so a few hours later I presented her with this:

How much do I love being your mother?  More than 500 words could ever say.  I love being your mother more than anything in the world.  Life changed when you were born.  Before, things I did had no meaning.  Now everything I do means something.  I have a daughter who is watching me, learning how to do things or how not to do things because of what I do.  That makes being a mother a very important job, the most important job I will ever have in my lifetime.  When I was younger, I didn’t think that I wanted to be a mother.  I didn’t enjoy being around children very much, and I didn’t think that I would love having a child of my own.  Boy, was I ever wrong.  I didn’t know all the wonderful things that I was missing.  The day I became your mother was the happiest day of my life.  That was 8 years ago, and I still think back and remember it all the time.  I remember the joy I felt when I looked at you for the first time.  You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  You were a miracle, and you were mine.  I had waited so long to see you while I was pregnant, and I was so relieved it was over with and you were finally here!  I can’t describe for you how much joy I felt, because there are no words that can describe it.  It felt as if my heart was so full of love for you that it would explode inside my chest because it couldn’t possibly hold it all in.  That is how I still feel when I look at you in a quiet moment when we aren’t rushing around, hurrying to get somewhere, or arguing about something.  I will always feel that joy and love for having you in my life.  Even when you are grouchy or sassing me or you make me angry, I will still love you.  I will always love you for the rest of my life.  There is nothing that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. I want you to always remember that, no matter what.  Since the day you were born, you have been the light of my life.  You are what makes my life happy and beautiful.  Some days mommy feels sad and tired and I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, and what makes me get up is that I have this wonderful daughter in the other room, and I can come wake you up and see you and say good morning to you and spend another day of my life with you.  You are what makes my life worth living.  You are what makes my life have meaning.  You are what makes my life happy and full of love and light.  I love you more than anything or anyone in this whole wide world.   Love, Momma

Happy Birthday my darling daughter.  I love you so.