The Nose Knows.

This is my sweet Sophie.  She’s helping me not to be so sad about losing Buddy.  Sophie is all about the love.  She wants to sit beside you with her head on your knee/leg.  Or she wants to sit on your foot if you’re standing up somewhere.  Or she wants to lie down on top of you and cuddle if you’re lying on the couch.  Yeah, she must think she’s a Chihuahua or something.  With this dog, all the petting in the world is just never enough for her.  I don’t know if that comes from being at the animal shelter for so long before I adopted her or from being a stray before that or if it’s just her nature.  But you can pet her until you’re feeling carpal tunnel syndrome developing in your wrist and she still wants more.  She’s such a good, sweet, gentle dog.  She has really won my heart and my husband’s too (and I was worried!)

Birthday At The House O’ Mouse mini book

I love mini books.  I think I’ve mentioned before whenever you’re in a scrapbooking rut you should put together a mini book.  It’s a smaller project and you get lots of photos used and you have a great keepsake.  This book is from May of 2003 when we took our daughter to Disney World for her 3rd birthday and I based the whole trip around one particular (impossible to get) reservation to have dinner with Cinderella & friends.  I’ve already done a 2-page layout for my regular size scrapbook that I’ll share with you later that tells the whole story about the meltdown my daughter (and mommy) had before the Cinderella dinner, but I still had lots of photos left so I wanted to put those together in a little book.  I used a Maya Road house (chipboard) book and I loved it.  I will definitely be buying some more of these.  I put the bulk of the story on the inside cover typed onto white cardstock and I also wrote little bits and pieces throughout the book.  I’ll share a few pages with you here.

Here’s pages 1 and 2 with the story:

Here’s the journaling from the inside cover (you’ll notice the book’s not called “happy” birthday at the house of mouse, right?)

This story begins one day in May 2003 when Ken came up with the brilliant idea to surprise Summer for her 3^rd birthday and take her to Disney World! On the evening of her birthday, we took Summer to the Grand Floridian resort (and it IS grand) to have dinner with Cinderella.  These reservations are VERY hard to get on short notice.  You have to call months ahead, but I had managed to get them only 4 weeks before & I then planned the entire trip around this one reservation. Yes, I’m crazy but it was a once-in-a lifetime thing. Unfortunately, we had a long day, let her get tired out swimming at the hotel, and didn’t wake her from her nap soon enough. She was a GROUCH, didn’t want to go, didn’t care we’d driven 1,000 miles to see Cinderella. Good times.  After some crying on my part and Summer’s, we got to dinner. The resort was lovely, the dinner was great, and the birthday girl survived. She got to meet Suzy and Perla, Cinderella, & Prince Charming. She was scared of the Fairy Godmother (go figure!).  I don’t think she smiled in a single photo.  Yeah, this is what you call a lesson learned for Mommy & Daddy.

Here’s another set of pages (notice no smiling on Summer’s part here)

The journaling here says:

Our princess meeting THE princess.  She doesn’t look very impressed, huh?  I was sort of starstruck, though.  Cinderella was absolutely breathtaking!

Here she is after unwrapping a Beauty & the Beast movie she had really been wanting.  Doesn’t she look thrilled?  LOL  At least Belle is smiling on the cover

 Here are the last 2 pages.  The journaling says, “This is the best “smile” we got all evening.”  (and really she’s not smiling; she is saying CHEESE!) 

What a day! 

Scrapbook paper gift wrap

Here’s another example of a way to use your scrapbooking paper for something other than your layouts.  I used some monkey printed paper to wrap a Nintendo DS game.  Perfect size!  Wrap a bow around it and call it done! (or call it too broke to go buy real wrapping paper!

All dogs go to heaven, right?

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you might remember this story from back in October of how I ended up with so many animals it looked like a zoo at my house.  Then in November I shared photos of my babies here.  Well, I had to put my little Buddy down on Monday, and my heart is so broken I can’t even tell you.  I agonized over the decision to do it.  I thought about it for weeks.  I didn’t WANT to do it, but I couldn’t stand to see him suffering.  Apparently his trachea was so closed up he could hardly get any air in there, and it was not a fixable problem (the vet doesn’t know why it was like that).  So we tried medicines.  I gave him medicine to stifle a cough twice a day, a medicine to keep the fluid out of his lungs once a day, a medicine for his heart twice a day.  Nothing helped.  He walked around all day and did this horrible hacking coughing breathing thing that sounded like he was having an asthma attack.  Twenty-four hours a day.  But other than THAT, he was fine.  He still wanted to be petted and run around outside in the yard and cuddle and eat all the time.  So it was hard for me to come to a decision to let him go.  But two weeks ago he got pneumonia again and his breathing got even worse.  He spent 5 days at the animal hospital and they switched him to some different medicines, adding in an antibiotic.  Apparently once you get pneumonia you’re prone to getting it again and again.  Once the antibiotic was gone, he was back to sounding REALLY bad and struggling with his breaths.  It was hard to watch and hard to listen to.  It’s funny how his loud labored breathing kind of became a background noise in our house, like the television on in the background.  After a while of hearing it 24/7, your brain kind of starts to ignore it and you don’t notice it so much.  Last Friday night I lay in bed with this little guy and I cried my eyes out trying to muster up the strength in my mind and my heart to put him down so he wouldn’t suffer anymore.  He laid there with me and licked my face and put his little head on my chest like he was telling me it was okay.  And even on Monday when we took him to the animal hospital to say goodbye, they made us wait SO LONG in the waiting room that so many times I almost told my husband, “Let’s get out of here.  I changed my mind.  I don’t want to do it.”  My husband told me the next day he kept thinking the same thing too.  I know in my mind what I did was the right thing, but I’m having a hard time convincing my heart of that.  My heart is sad, and my heart misses my little Buddy Boy, and my heart knows the house is too quiet now.  Damn.

Gingerbread House Fun

This past month is the first year at Christmas time that my daughter has mentioned wanting to decorate/build a gingerbread house.  I picked one up at Walmart for $10.  I paid that much because it came ALREADY ASSEMBLED.  I cannot stress enough the importance of that!  Sure, the one you had to put together yourself was $5 less, but it was worth it to pay the extra $5 if I didn’t have to build the darn thing.  Unfortunately, the (Wilton) people who DID assemble this house weren’t all that great at it!  I don’t know if you can tell in the photo, but it’s crooked!  One side of the roof hangs down over the house, and the other side does not.  But whatever, right?  My daughter didn’t care and we worked with what we had. 

But here’s my real reason for writing.  I have one of those creative type 7-year-olds.  She calls herself an “artiste.”  And she is.  She loves all things related to art, loves to create all types of art, etc.  I even gave her a little room all her own at our house for her “art room.”  Anyway, she’s the only child I know who would use goldfish crackers for her “icicles” hanging off the roof.  I love it!  This kid cracks me up. 

Wedding layout

(click photo to see it bigger)

I wrote previously about my trip to Texas to attend my friend Dona’s wedding.  Of course, it was lovely.  Does anyone ever describe a wedding and NOT say that it was beautiful?    When I wrote the story about my friends, I included their photos and actually forgot to put the bride and groom’s photo with them, the whole reason FOR the story.  Go figure. 

My friend Edie is an amateur photographer and she’s fantastic (although she doesn’t believe that).  She took this photo, and it looks just like the wedding photographer’s shot.  It’s one of my favorite pictures from that day because it just has such a sweetness about it.  These two kids make such a CUTE couple!  Did I just call them kids?  Oh my gosh, I feel so old!

I wanted to keep this layout simple because I really wanted the focus to be on the photo.  I’ve got a LOT of Tinkering Ink inventory in my ebay store right now that isn’t selling, so I decided to use some of it up.  The brown embellished felt circle and the green felt bracket are “Finery” from the Botanical Bliss line.  (you can buy these in my Paypal store in the upper right corner of this blog)  First time I’ve used anything felt on a layout and loved these.  I also used KI Memories ice candy and Scrapworks Tailored Tabs.  Those ribbons are from Target in the $1 spot, except the brown/pink dotted; don’t know where that one is from because my friend Jill from California gave me a gigantic bag of ribbons.  Heck, she even hauled them all the way to Texas to give them to me!  She is so good to me and always shares her ribbons with me!  (thanks Jillie)  I’ll be doing more pages with journaling coming up, cause if you know me then you know I’m all about the journaling.  Check back soon.

I was afraid.

I mentioned earlier that I recently went to Texas to attend the wedding of an online friend.  It was really difficult to get there, as I have a fear of flying and just a generalized anxiety disorder on top of that.  I don’t do well with crowds, people I don’t know well, etc.  So, flying for the first time ever, attending a wedding rehearsal lunch, the wedding and reception, and staying in a (very nice) stranger’s house for 3 nights, not to mention being away from my little girl for the first time, was quite the experience.  I was afraid. 

My great friend Thea thankfully lives about 3.5 hours from me and made plans to fly with me cause she knew I was FREAKED OUT.  (She offered to hold my barf bag if needed….now that’s friendship, people! FYI– I didn’t need it.  LOL)  But I was afraid, even right up until the second we stepped on that plane, that I was going to have an anxiety attack and get sick and not be able to board and that Thea would have to go on without me.  I was afraid that what usually happens would; that I would be so worried about having an anxiety attack that I would actually bring one upon myself.  I know, it sounds ridiculous if you don’t actually suffer from anxiety attacks, but trust me it happens and it’s horrible.  I was afraid that an anxiety attack would hit me on the plane and I’d be sick and need to go to the restroom but the seatbelt light would still be on and I wouldn’t be able to get out of my seat.  I was afraid that, again, worrying about that would cause me to have an anxiety attack.  There are just so many factors.  It’s a vicious cycle, it really is. 

Once we got to Texas and arrived at the house where we were staying for the duration of the trip, I felt better about staying at a stranger’s house.  Liz & Dave were so warm and welcoming and friendly.  They never made us feel as if we were intruding on their household.  They’re wonderful people.  But I was afraid when it was time to attend the wedding rehearsal lunch because of all the people.  I was afraid again when it was time for the wedding and reception.  In fact, I insisted on driving my own rental car there instead of riding with my friends in case I got sick and had to leave and go back to the house.  I’ve learned over the years that I feel better and have less anxiety if I have a “way out” of a situation that makes me feel anxiety.  I feel better going into a situation if I have that “way out”, if I know I can slip out and leave and I don’t have to drag anybody else away from the fun because they rode there with me.  Having said that, I also HATE it that I have to do this. 

Thankfully, while in Texas I didn’t need to worry so much.  I didn’t have an anxiety attack at all for the whole trip; going there, in between, or coming home, and I am so thankful.  I was with great friends and felt very relaxed the whole trip and had a wonderful time.  I would not have wanted to miss one moment of fun with these crazy women who I am SO glad to call my friends.  I would not have wanted to miss my friend Dona’s beautiful wedding.  It was the first time I’ve ever cried at a wedding.  It was so lovely.  (Dona, I’m so happy for you!) 

I was afraid.  But I did it anyway.  Because I didn’t want to miss the fun.  I didn’t want to miss the wedding.  I didn’t want to miss meeting Jill (an online friend from California) for the first time, who was also attending the wedding.  I didn’t want to miss an extended weekend with my girlfriends who are scattered all over the country and I only get to talk to them online.  I didn’t want to miss the EXPERIENCE, damnit!  I have missed so many experiences because of my anxiety disorder.  And I have regrets about that.  I have bookshelves lined with books on the subject of panic attacks and generalized anxiety disorder and how to OVERCOME them, but they’ve been sitting on those shelves collecting dust.  This year I’m going to read them.  Every damn one of them.  And I’m going to put into practice what I learn from them.  And I am going to find the STRENGTH to overcome them.  I am going to find the strength to do a lot of things this year.

If you’re not a scrapbooker, then you don’t know who Ali Edwards is; an awesome life artist, scrapbooker, and all around cool person.  She had a concept to to pick ”one little word” for the year last year (and is doing it again this year), pick a word that has meaning, something you want for yourself, and live your life with that word in mind, incorporate that word into what you do and say and accomplish.  And my word is STRENGTH.  I am going to discover that strength that I have inside of myself again.  I lost it somewhere along the way, for whatever reasons.  I have gained 70 pounds in the last 2 years, and it makes me sick.  I’ve lost my strength in that area of my life, and I intend to get it back physically.  I’ve struggled in my relationship with my husband, and it saddens me.  I need to find the strength to change that and make it great again.  I’ve struggled so much with my depression being out of control for the last year, and I’ve lost my strength in that area also.  I MUST get that strength back mentally to survive. 

Man, don’t you just wish you could change the things that need changing overnight?  Ha!  Wouldn’t that be wonderful?  Yes, it would indeed.

Scrapbooking is a beautiful thing.  It preserves our memories, our thoughts, our feelings forever.  I love it for all that it has brought into my life.  I think I love it most of all for these friendships that I have formed with these women.  We all have a bond that was built because of scrapbooking.  If money wasn’t an object and one of them called and needed me, I would be on the first plane out.  It’s not every day that you meet a person that you can develop a special friendship with, and because of scrapbooking I have miraculously been able to do that with not just one woman but several.  How lucky am I, really, to be able to call these women friends?  Each one of them brings something different to my life, and I am so thankful for them.