I am thankful for the internet.

Yes, it’s wonderful modern technology and I can’t remember how I ever learned anything without google!  Yes, I use it every day for my job as a medical transcriptionist researching the name of a medication or a type of pacemaker or a type of surgery, and my job is better because of the internet.  I’m glad I have it.  As a scrapbooker, it allows me to seek out inspiration.  I love to read other blogs to see what other people are creating, to look at art, to learn something new, to see what new scrapbooking supplies are on the market, to discover something new to make my scrapbooking more fun for me. 

But I am most grateful for the internet for something else it has brought to my life.  The gift of friendship.  I have belonged to scrapbooking groups on the internet before and made friends with other scrapbookers, had laughs, learned things from some of them.  And as it usually goes in life, you kind of stick with the people that you have the most in common with, maybe you have the same parenting values, the same scrapbooking styles or goals, whatever.  At least that’s what happens in MY life.  And that’s what happened on my scrapbooking groups.  One group kind of morphed into a smaller group of women who had a lot in common, that group branched off into a different group, and finally now there is a small group of just a few women and myself.  We’re technically a scrapbooking group.  We’re all scrapbookers, yes, but over the course of the last 4 years they’ve become my close friends.  They’ve become my family.  It’s really not often that you meet truly special people in life, so it’s funny that I’ve managed to meet so many in our little group of scrapbookers.  I talk to these woman every day, instead of on the phone like I do my friends “in the real world”, it’s by e-mail.  I feel such a circle of support from them.  I feel like I can tell them anything, and they would not judge me.  That’s a special thing to find in a friend. 

Okay, I’ve laid the groundwork for my story now.  My friends live in California, Texas, Nebraska, and my own state.  One of my friends, Thea, lives a few hours north of me so we get together a few times a year now.  It’s great to have her within driving distance.  Anyway, one of the “yahoo girls” (as one of them calls us since we are on the yahoo group), Dona, has been planning her wedding in Texas and invited the others to attend, knowing that since we are all scattered everywhere and it would require time off work, etc., that the chance of any of the girls showing up was slim to none.  I mean, I personally said, hey I love you, but if I’m taking time off work and have to use my vacation days it’s gonna be spent at the BEACH, know what I mean?  I only get one vacation!    

Fast forward several months.  We’ve all talked here and there about the wedding plans, how it would be fun to all get together, how wonderful it would be to see our friend get married (we’re so happy for her).  Some of the girls would be meeting for the first time.  Others have been lucky enough to be in the same state at the same time and were able to meet previously.  A few months before the wedding, the girls started deciding okay, this was really gonna happen, arranging time off work, budgeting for the plane tickets, etc.  Plans were made to arrive a few days before the wedding so everyone could meet, get to know each other better “in person,” shop at scrapbook stores, etc.  It looked like everyone was going to be able to tentatively make it except for me.  I have had a big struggle in the last year with my depression, just haven’t been able to control it as well as I had the last 6 years before, and it has affected my job and my production at work.  Given this, my paychecks haven’t been what they used to be or what they need to be, and there was no way I could afford the gas money for the drive to the airport (3.5 hours away), a plane ticket, a rental car, eating out while in Texas, hotel stay, etc.  It was just too much.  All that and 3 weeks before Christmas too.  I don’t what that Dona was thinking when she picked her wedding date, but back to the story.  Here’s where the wonderful-ness begins.

I had to tell the girls that I just couldn’t make it.  Talk about being depressed!  But sometimes that’s just life and you gotta suck it up and deal.  So I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to Texas.  Disappointed, yes, but secretly also a bit relieved, as it would require flying on an airplane and I’m TERRIFIED of flying, never flown before, and I have anxiety disorder so that was a disaster waiting to happen! :)

One by one, these wonderful women stepped forward and held out a hand (like I said, they’re a circle of support).  First, Thea said, I’ve got a bunch of airline miles saved up.  I’ll just use them and get us both a plane ticket.  We’ll talk about you freaking out and having a panic attack when the time comes.  I was so overwhelmed by her offer.  Against my better judgment (again, AFRAID of flying!) I said I’d let her give me the ticket.  After thinking it through, a few weeks later I told her not to get my ticket.  Even though it was such a generous thing for her to do, I still had no money to pay for a hotel, to rent a car, to eat.  Just so many things that add up to a lot.  We didn’t tell the other girls because I was sad about it and didn’t want to bring down their excitement about going, so Thea and I kept it to ourselves. 

A month and a half before the wedding, I broke down and told the rest of my group of friends that I wouldn’t be coming to Texas with them and attending Dona’s wedding.  Once again, life just doesn’t always go the way you want it and I just didn’t have the funds for all the things that would be required to take the trip.  Again, more wonderful-ness.  First Edie said, “I’ll pay for your part of the rental car bill.”  Then Jill said, “I’ll pay for your part of the hotel bill.”  “We’ll pay for you to eat while we’re in Texas.”  I cannot tell you how overwhelmed with love and gratitude I was for these girls.  I sat and cried in front of my computer for days over their generosity.  My friend Jill had not even MET me yet!  I mean, who DOES that?  Right?  That is friendship, people.  These girls are special.  They each have their own qualities and quirks that draw me to them and make me want them for my friends.  I love them all.  I am so grateful to have them in my life.     

And yes, I went.  My husband helped finance my trip so the girls didn’t have to actually go through with their offers to help, but I love them for it anyway.  Speaking as a person who has anxiety attacks and a major fear of flying, it was quite an experience.  But that’s a story for another day.

(click photos to see them larger)